


His Smile is the Reason I'm Alive

by orphan_account



Category: BLACKPINK (Band), EXO (Band), TWICE (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, And BlackPink, Angst with a Happy Ending, Based on a True Story, Basically J-Hope's story of becoming a sunshine, Heavy Angst, J-Hope also loves Jin, J-Hope and Suga are stressed, J-Hope has depression, J-Hope is whipped for Jin, Jungkook is innocent, Kim Seokjin | Jin Is a Little Shit, Kim Taehyung | V Is a Little Shit, M/M, Min Yoongi | Suga Is Bad at Feelings, Min Yoongi | Suga Is Whipped, NamJin referenced, Sad Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Suga's life isn't the best, Yoonseok - Freeform, and exo - Freeform, ft: twice
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-05-25
Packaged: 2019-05-05 07:07:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14612343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Before I knew it, tears filled up my eyes again.Except I couldn't make it stop.I could never control my damn feelingsBut that smile of his could.His smile cured diseases.His smile saved my life





	1. Chapter 1

 

I walked into my class, I smiled. It was the same as usual:

 

The same loud annoying cool kids blabbering 24/7, and those who weren't the type to talk(introverts) sitting and reading. I scanned across the classroom for my 2nd favorite person : There was Kim Taehyung.

Suddenly my smile dimmed: He wasn't on his tablet, waiting for me like usual. He was talking to someone else.

_This isn't like him to talk to someone._ _Other than me. At all. Oh no..._

  
  


I know that some may think me possessive to want Taehyung and only Taehyung as my friend. After All, who says I can choose ** **his****  friends? But you see, there lies a problem in that: I suck at making friends. V(Taehyung's nickname) was the only friend I ever had till that point. I looked for a bit to see who he was talking to- Jeon Jungkook.

  
  


Why Jeon Jungkook? Of all people?

 

Jungkook was my friend, _or acquaintance maybe?_

  
  


Whatever it was I didn't like it.

  
  


I sat down in my seat between a couple of other people and turned behind: I saw _Him. My 1_ _st_ _Favorite Person._

I saw Kim Seokjin. This guy was the best person ever. He was smart, handsome, funny and practically the whole goddamn package. I was whipped and I knew it, though I wouldn't admit it.

  
  


But loving Jin(His nickname) came with its price. He hated me. I'm actually a pretty much hated person in this class, but Jin would probably want me dead. Everyone thought I hated Jin too. But I could not love him any more. I don't exactly know what made me fall for him. All I do know is that, last year, I noticed him. He looked goddamn beautiful for reason, he was just sitting there, writing.

  
  


_How do you look so good, writing? Breathing, existing?_

I watched him the entire day: Every single movement of his was perfect. Every word he said. Freaking Perfect. Every second I looked at him. He felt like an angel.

  
  


Even having him stand, still made me feel lucky, that I'm even his classmate...

  
  


  
  


This crush, however, was very, very secret. I didn't even tell V or my Parents.

I then winced. My parents hated Jin. They'd give me lectures everyday about how I should beat him up in studying which we both were 'rivals' in. I hated it. I hate how'd they'd mock and tease and insult Jin.

I shut my eyes when last year, my parents scolded me for not doing well: Jin did better.

It would be Jin-this and Jin-that.

  
  


I wanted to cry, not because I got beaten up for my grades, but for how they mocked Jin and I. Mainly Jin of course, I could care about myself less. Jin was actually important.  They'd called him stupid, dumb and... _Fuck_ , I was gonna cry. I am also a horribly weak and shy person, which made it hard to talk to anyone other than V, and _approaching JIN?_ It would take a miracle.

 

I snapped back into reality over the noisy chit-chat of people.

I had one final flashback,

“ _DO YOU PROMISE YOU WON'T DISAPPOINT US NEXT TIME?_

  
  


“ _Ye,Yess” I whispered back._

  
  


“ _One more mistake, and You're done for Hoseok, Done for, understand me?”_

  
  


I remembered that we had had our finals a couple of weeks ago. I hoped I did well. I suddenly felt adrenaline surge through my body: I didnt think I did good, although I studied hard.

  
  


_nonono. Don't Panic. Calm Down._

  
  


I thought of Jin. I calmed down and looked at him with determination. The World could throw me away and have me cry and torture me, but I'd still love Jin. Actually during the flashback, when my parents were shouting at me, I just thought of Jin. The thought of him gave me more strength than I'd like to admit. This man was Ethereal.

  
  


_I love him so fucking much._

  
  


The door suddenly opened, and It was time for Math(a/n: This actually was my 1st class every morning)

 

“Good Morning, Miss Jean.” We greeted her.

 “Hello students!” She called with a bright smile.

 “I have the results of your exams you took!”

 

_Crap._

 

 


	2. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It gets worse from here

"You can ask me for your scores when you have free time, eventually it will be emailed to your parents. Anyways..."

The class started and I paid attention, or at least tried to. My eyes kept wandering to Jin, he looked smexy as hell, I studied his face: His eyes were drooping a bit, his lips were slightly parted like the girl- with- the -pearl painting, except 100x more perfect than that girl. His jet black hair framed his face perfectly... I noticed V glancing at me and I blushed. I groaned. How did I fall for Jin when I knew he would never love me back, everyone had a crush on Jin at some point but I was whipped. Seriously whipped.

The next period was social studies, it was a group work project.

The teachers announced the names: "Alrighty then, Group 1: Lisa, Jungkook, Jisoo, Xiumin. " I glanced at V, who looked slightly disappointed.

 

Geez, he must really like Jungkook, ** _I have to make him like me more_**

**_  
_ **

_Snap the hell out of it! Dumbass, You can talk with V later! Listen to Miss Ray._

 

"Group 3: Mina, Jin, Hoseok and Yoongi.  Next for Group 4-" 

 

My mind went blank. JIN and I IN A GROUP??? IT MUST BE MY LUCKY DAY!

I walked up to Jin immediately and he scowled. I gave him a smile, though. He looked adorable frustrated. Mina joined us next, carrying the posters and markers in her arms. She threw them down on the floor. Yoongi joined us after her. Neither of them seemed to be glad to be in a group with Jin and I. "Lets start." Grumbled Jin.

 

Unfortunately it wasn't that good. Mina didn't do much of anything(a/n: I love these girls and boys and they are only characters) except swear and curse at Yoongi and I, while offering no solution to our task. Jin, our leader, was pissed and decided to take his anger on me. I didn't know what to do so I just watched hem fight with the occasional insult directed at me. I went to Miss Ray, and although I tried to be polite, she shouted at all of us, took 10 points of our grade for this project and _sent us out of the class._

_"You are a goddamn team! Work like one for Christ's sake!!!"_

We walked into the hall and I noticed the awkward silence in the group.

"Hoseok,  _you son of a bitch..."_ Whispered Jin.

"You guys this is a group project!" I objected."We won't get anything done by fighting!" 

I began to panic. My crush already hated me. Him calling me a bitch was one of the most painful things I'd ever heard. I looked at his normally pretty face, and it was streaked with anger and frustration. His face was flushed with humiliation, embarrassment and mockery all at once.

"We won't get anything done by fighting." Mimicked a voice behind me. It turned around. It was Yoongi, glowering at me mockingly. He looked like a goddamn murderer. Mina standing next to him looked like the mentally unstable accomplice.

Mina said sneeringly, "Hoseok, you do this then, as your smart ass can clearly see, we don''t work together. As a result, _you_ do the work. **Think of it as your punishment** "

"What? Why only me?" I spat back harshly.

"Because, you dumbass, _**you got us sent out**._ " Yoongi's voice got as dark as an eclipse and sounded as poisonous as Arsenic.

 

Yoongi stepped closer.  ** _"Listen up here, I don't like this anymore than you do. But unless you want your fucking insides to be turned into outsides, do as I  fucking say, understand me? Do the project by  your fucking yourself? Get it, you bitch?"_**

His breath fanned my face. His eyes looked so intimidating, I felt his insults through my head and I was actually capable of crying if I wasn't so weak. My mind began ringing and echoing his words, my legs felt weak and I nodded hesitantly.

"Good."

 

I groaned and I wrote everything down. I hated this group so much. I wanted to get over with this shit.

Jin said, "Hoseok-ah, its a wonder how you're this pitiful. It makes me wanna cry!" 

 

Woah my crush actually feels me. I blushed. I felt important and happy.

 

"Really?" I

"Really. You're so pathetically stupid its sad."

 

Then he laughed. Not his natural happy, carefree kind. More like he was the son-of-satan cheeky laugh. Of course Yoongi and Mina laughed. Cruelly. It burned and hurt. I felt humiliated and awkward. Although I'd imagined Jin and I being through situations that made us laugh, I never imagined it like this. Yoongi and Mina could now go rot in hell.

 

We presented, or at least tried to. Since I did the presentation technically by myself, the group was pretty much pleased. They appeared all smiles when we got back. They presented the best I'd ever seen. Even Jin and Mina seemed to be friends again, and Yoongi was pretty much the happiest I'd ever seen him. I was annoyed that they insisted that they did the work. We sat back down, I wanted to complain to V, my best friend.

I walked down to the table where V and I sat at. Always sat at.

 

Today, V came up to me and said, "Great Presentation Hoseok! I have to go and sit with Jungkook today!!! Sorry, bye!"

 

I sighed. I felt lonely. I watched the sky ahead above and wished I could just die already.

I looked at V and Jungkook as well as Jin. I knew my crush hated me but not this much. Jesus it hurts. It hurts a lot.

_**"Hoseok, you son of a bitch..."** _

_**You're so pathetically stupid its sad."** _

My eyes started burning. Why DID Jin do it to me?? I loved him so much. I'd never say it to him. I love him sooo much. He was my world, my reason, my strength, my desires rested on one person who hated me to the point of death. I wanted to run away, I wanted to burn, and I wanted Jin to love me back, I wanted to be his. I wiped my face, which was now streaming with tears. I played with a few dandelions in the field. At least Nature never rejected me.

I thought of V, who usually didn't ditch me. Today he did.

 

I remembered Yoongi , and I scowled. Loser. He just wanted to scare me. He could go die in a goddamn ditch for all I cared.

 

The bell rang and eventually the school day passed.

Next day was the math results that I'd get. I hope I did well.


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My life slowly descended into hell.
> 
> I had lost it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoseok I'm sorry

 The next day in class, I didn't immediately sit down, I looked for V. 

 

Last night I texted him to see about an assignment I needed help with, I even called him. But his voicemail replied instead. V didn't go out usually so I wondered if he was okay. As you can pretty much see, he was fine, much happier. He was sitting next to Jungkook and talking to him excitedly. I'd never seen anyone smile and anyone so much. It was almost as if... he wanted to be with Jungkook, 24/365?

I sat nearby the two and I could hear them talk:

 

"Damn you have the coolest anime! You have Attack on Titan season 3 pre-ordered!!!" V giggled.

 

I rolled my eyes. Puh-Leez! I could have all the manga and shit ordered before Jungkook! But unlike V, I didn't have an interest in Anime. Or many fandoms the class knew/liked. I listened closer to hear what JUNGKOOK had to say about that.

"DUDE, we should go out and watch before class!" 

What the actual hell? V never broke the rules. He was a pretty good kid. Just too loud at times. Thats it? Right?

"Yeah! I'll join you!" V chattered excitedly.

The two got up, took Jungkook's Ipad and raced out with V carrying snacks behind.

 

My jaw dropped to the floor. What the heck?? V's been acting so crazy lately. I bet its because of Jungkook.

I scowled. Then frowned. Then wondered. But V was  _my_ best friend. Not his.

 

I sat down.

I looked for Jin. Despite the events yesterday, I could never hate or refuse my badass prince. My eyes landed on Yoongi instead. He caught me staring at him. But he scowled and faced the other way. _You bastard._

I looked again for Jin and suddenly the door opened. It was Park Jimin, class gossip guy.

"Dudes and dudettes! Check it! Jin has a crush on someone!!! He's been pretty mean to him to hide his feelings-mmpfh!" his mouth was covered by Rose Park. 

The day suddenly seemed happier. Jin's been acting strange around me lately. He dissed me yesterday. Jin  **was** gonna be mine!!!

 

The class oohed and immediately Jong-in(Kai) and Tzuyu went to the board and immediately wrote everyone's name on the board. The entire class watched attentively: HOLY CRAP I had a chance. I turned red as a tomato and tried to put on a straight face for the moment. I imagined it in my head. Jin apologizing, him hugging me, giving me his food. Only to me... yesss!!!

I paid close attention to them.

"1st up! Dahyun!!"

The class thought for a bit than agreed, 'no'.

 

I groaned. Why were we starting with the _girls_ first??  Then again I shouldn't mind the extra wait. My prince still needed me.

"Tzuyu!"

"No!"

"Mina!"

"Hell No!"

"Nayeon!"

"Shut the hell up!" Nayeon yelled.

"Lisa!"

"What the-"

"Next- uhhh Jeongyeon!"

"Fuck off!"

"DETENTION!!"

"No!" the class answered.

Wait what the- crap" Tzuyu exclaimed, looking at the door.

 

"crap indeed" Ms. JEAN said walking in.

"You'd better hope you passed these exams cause you guys did terrible!!"

 

Oh shit.

"As for you two, detention for 3 days for sneaking out of class." I looked over to find V and Jungkook smirking, not even upset their grades would go down for this.

 

She clicked open some files on the computer and turned on the projector.

 

It was based scorewise. meaning the person with the highest score's name would be written first. I wasn't sure what to expect.(a/n: I'll put everyone's score on it cuz why not, also I hate no one its merely a story!)

Finally the names and numbers flashed on the board

Min Yoongi - 67/70

Yoo Jeongyeon- 66/70

Kim Seokjin- 65/70

Kim Namjoon- 65/70

Sana Minatozaki- 65/70

Kim Jisoo- 63/70

Zhang Yixing- 61/70

Myoi Mina- 60/70

Im Nayeon- 58/70

**Jung Hoseok- 57/70**

Park Jimin- 56/70

Park Chaeyoung- 53/70

Kim Taehyung- 51/70

Kim Jeong-In- 50/70

Chou Tzuyu- 49/70

Kim Dahyun- 49/70

Kim Min Seok- 48/70

Kim Jennie- 47/70

Do Kyung Soo- 46/70

Lalisa Manoban- 44/70

Kim Baekhyun- 42/50

 

I nearly fainted

 

 

 

 


	4. 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Abuse

Later that day, V sat with me again. Thankfully.

I couldn't hear what he was saying. It all sounded half-hearted and forced anyways. I noticed that V had changed...

All I heard were those memories through my head.

I knew my parents had seen my grades. I knew that I had promised them that I'd do good.

I know that I had broken that promise

I knew I was gonna be punished.

I stared at my pasta and I did the most regrettable thing. I wish I had never done it. My mind was spiraling into dizzying circles of mental turmoil. It hurt so goddamn much. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I got up from the table and excused myself. V, who was rambling away said it was fine.

Until he noticed I brought my pasta with me. V stopped and said, "Wait you wanna sit somewhere else? Why didn't cha say so?"

I faked a smile and whispered, "Only for a bit. I'll be back, okay?" I slowly walked to the bathroom and went into a stall. I stared at the toilet for a while. I then looked at my food.

 

 **"You don't deserve**   **it.** " 

Something in my head told me. My mind began ringing again, like it did when Jin insulted me.

**"Look how hard your parents worked to earn this money to buy food. They want to see the food help you get the strength to get results right?"**

I remembered that. My parents worked hard. Really fucking hard, I imagined their disappointed faces. I imagined their despair and it fueled mine even more. But I was  _so_ helpless.

 **"What results _did you give_** ** _them??_** "

I barely got into the top 5. I gave them disgrace. 

**"You don't deserve food. You don't deserve anything."**

My eyes started to burn again.

_**"You're so pathetic its sad."** _

_**"Hoseok you son of a bitch..."** _

_**"Will YOU DISAPPOINT US AGAIN?!"** _

I cried out to nothing and suddenly, I felt something rising out of my throat. I felt nauseous, I felt sick, I felt like a vileness rising inside me. I felt so loud, yet so alone My eyes filled with tears and suddenly, I opened my mouth to wail but I began to puke, I threw up. I don't know why.I don't know how. But I felt so upset being in that stall alone. I threw the rest of my food down the toilet too. I wiped my tears and knew what to do. I was going to V. I was going to tell him what I felt before my death sentence today. I washed my face and slammed my head into the wall, panting, silently. Alone. I tried to calm myself down. I looked at my hands, shocked. 

What had I done? I became so impulsive, it hurt.

I then blinked away tears and walked down again to the lunch room to the table V and I always sat at. Except V wasn't there anymore. I looked around for a bit, and I found him.

With Jungkook.

I saw him laughing at something Kook had said. 

V had left me.

Again.

I ran back to the classroom frustrated.

 

**************************************************************************************************************************************************

 

"HOSEOK!!! YOU FUCKING MORON! HOW BAD DID YOU DO ON THIS TEST?!" a voice shouted.

I heard a clinking noise behind me. I knew what it was: The Belt.

I shut my eyes and felt myself dragged to the floor.

I woke up in bed and I groaned in pain. I looked at my arms and legs, they were covered in cuts and bruises(a/n: I'm sorry Hobi)

I heard my parents arguing from the other room:

**_"Why did YOU get me a son like this?"_ **

**_"If I knew my future child was gonna be such a FUCKING failure, I would never have wanted one I the first place!"_ **

**"You were never good in the first place, Hoseok" The voice came through my head again.**

 

I whined. But I knew it was right. I was a failure, I didn't deserve anything. At fucking all. 

I curled my body and hugged my pillow.

"I am sorry. So sorry"

I whispered it to no one in particular, I tried to think of Jin but I only remembered his voice. His fucking insults as well.

**"Jin IS right. No one on Earth would ever wanna be like you, Hoseok."**

 

 

I curled into the pillow, still thinking about Jin anyways. Pretending the now wet pillow, was my reason of sanity. Jin.

"Sorry" I whispered it a final time into the cold, damp and soft fabric.

I told it to V, for not being a great friend.

I told it to my Parents, who I had disappointed.

Yoongi, Mina and Jin, for being a dick.

Everyone, for being Jung Hoseok. 


	5. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Interesting stuff happens

I walked into school and immediately sat down.

I had a headache, I'd skipped yesterdays lunch, dinner and now, breakfast.

My mind wasnt clear, but I rubbed my eyes and got up to go to the bathroom. I arrived in and looked at the mirror, my eyes were puffy, red and sore for all the crying.

But throughout my exhaustion, I noticed that the bathroom smelled funky, like weed. Or cigars...? I then heard some rustling in the changing room, I went to see who it was.

"Yeahh, how'd you like that Yoooonggiii?" I heard a deep voice slur indecently and rashly.

"Uhh, no thanks, Doryeong. I-mmmpfh!"

Yoongi, and Woo Doryeong? In a room? Doing what-?

I carefully peeked around the corner but there was an open locker, and I ended up banging my head into it.

"What the hell was that!?" Someone asked.

"Shut it, Ill beat the shit outtaaa that guy, teachchhheer, janitrooor, fuuckk it. I'm hellla rich aand I'm not scaared to admit it." A voice, Doryeongs shouted.

I noticed something on the floor: Vapes.

What the fuck?

I ran silently out the lockers and out the bathroom into the hallway, so fast I probably could have won an award. I slammed the door shut and ran into my desk, landing clumsily on the seat. I looked around,

But only say V and Jungkook talking. I just minded my own business.

Several minutes later, Yoongi appeared in the classroom looking a little, sick.

I wanted to ask him what happened in the lockers, but didnt.

Whatever. It wasnt my business, I had to focus on getting my grades up.

And I got the chance.

The science teacher, Ms Lana introduced a new topic: An essay on a process of water treatment method. Nice.

It was 30% of our grade. So it was important, If I did well enough it would guarantee me a better grade! Yes!

Things were looking up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter!


	6. 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More stuff happens

Later that day, I realized that I  **had** to eat before I fucking had a stroke and fainted.

I forced myself to eat half of my sandwiches, but threw the rest of it.

V and I still sat together but we barely even talked, I was so tired and mentally strained from all the meal skipping that, my head was buzzing and I couldn't focus. But it really didn't matter, I didn't deserve food. At all. I occasionally glanced at V and he did the same to me. We were actually working on the paper Ms. Lana had assigned us to do.

I was putting my heart, soul and PRACTICAL existence into the 15 paged essay, and was ready to slay it with flying colors, but although I tried my best, I nearly fainted because I felt so goddamn lightheaded. I guess it was because of the lack of sleep and food. But then my parent's, Jin's Yoongi's and Mina's words flew through my head.

No.

I really didnt deserve anything.

At all.

 

The lunch bell rang and it was time for PE.

I headed to the changing room, where I'd seen Yoongi, Doryeong and maybe a few other people this morning, I looked for Yoongi and he seemed to be very carefully taking off his shirt, at the corner of the room. Like abnormally far from everyone else. It was strange. I mean, it might be privacy reasons, but...? That was too far.

Or was it normal?

I usually paid attention to Jin taking off  _his_ shirt, but he wasnt well today. So he was absent. 

My focus was damn poor and I barely managed to put my shirt on till I fell onto a bench.

"HEY! Hoseok? The fucks happened to you?" I heard a familiar voice call.

"Nothing." I whispered, standing up shakily, my vision blurring slightly. I stared at my hands, which had turned into quakes. Oh god how was I supposed to survive the PE class? I'd have to convince coach Mckenzie to make me sit out or else I'd pass out.

"Hoseok?" A voice inquiringly said.

"Yoongi? The hell do you want!?" I replied snarkily.

"Oh I dunno, You collapsing on a bench is totally normal, isnt it?" He firmly questioned.

"Fuck off!" I exclaimed but nearly collapsed. I groaned. Why the hell was I this weak?

I clumsily ran out the locker room and onto the field where most of the class was, I was gonna have to fake it till I made it. I'm hella sick and tired but I'll do it. So what if I didnt get basic needs? Real men don't need sleep. Or food. Or whatever.

We had to play basketball. 

I did actually did pretty bad, My reaction timing was fucking slow. I missed nearly every shot. The class booed and literally just negatively worded everything I said, the pain was real.

" **WHAT THE FUCK HOSEOK. FUCKING WEIRDO!** "

" **GODDAMN WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM? HE WAS HOT, NOW HE'S NOT!** "

" **HE WAS NEVER GOOD IN THE FIRST PLACE!** "

" **FUCKING FAILURE!** "

My parents words echoed loudly. I silently sat on the bleachers.

Xiumin, Lisa and Kai walked up to me.

" **Hoseok? Got a problem? We can fix it! Lets boost up your morale!** " Xiumin said.

 **"Yeah! By giving you a high five!"** Kai continued.

" **TO YOUR FACE!** " Lisa snorted.

They jeered.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU MORONS!"I heard a voice. We all turned around, and it was Yoongi. Looking with the same expression he did to me a few days ago, that same killer-like glower. That glare that made my knees weak. That look. Holy shit. I could sense the boldness and maturity in that. Lisa, Kai and Xiumin had all shut up, I glanced at them, they had all the same expression... fear.

The silence was so heavy and thick you cut through it with a knife.

 

"Lets go." Whispered Kai. They left silently and I just got up as well, mumbled a silent, 'Thank You' to Yoongi, walked back, nearly tripping over every rock and crack ever.

I felt someone's hand hit my back.

"Take this. As an apology." It was Yoongi again. In his outstreched arm was his fingers, holding a candy bar. He had a neon pink staining his cheeks. He looked at me, then away. Quickly.

"If someone hurts YOU again, tell me. I'll turn  _their_ insides into outsides, got that? Punk?" He whispered silently.

I gave him a smile, but as I made my way back, I was so confused. Why was Yoongi acting so nice to me all of a sudden? Its not like he cared that I work like crazy, am in love with someone who hates me and am losing all my friends every second I breathe.

I felt a bit happy but the words people had yelled at me. Hurt. Stung. Left a mark.

I took of my clothes and shakily got into the shower. The water was cold, but I didnt care. 

I barely deserved food. Why good water?

As I stood in there, the words flew through my head:

 **"HE WAS NEVER GOOD IN THE FIRST PLACE!** "

" **FUCKING FAILURE!** "

" **IF I HAD KNOWN MY FUTURE CHILD WOULD BE LIKE THIS I NEVER WOULD HAVE WANTED ONE!** "

The water gently hit the panel. But it was getting warmer gradually. The steam swirled around my legs, I looked upwards. No one needed me alive anymore, without me, our team wouldnt have lost. Without me, V wouldnt have a bad friend, without me, my parents would be happier. The world would be better. I didnt want the world and it didnt need me.

Gosh, I meant nothing.

I am nothing. Nothing important, at least.

I slowly pressed my forehead against the shower door on my arm and let the tears flow.

One by one,

Drop by drop.

Again and again.

I was crying. 


	7. 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hmmmm?

I opened up my Macbook and sat silently in the library. I checked the time.

4:02 PM

Great! The bus was late, so I could work on my project of the science paper now. I opened the web page I was researching my water treatment on: Reverse Osmosis.

I always had an interest into very odd things. Before I had moved to this area, I had an RO(Reverse Osmosis) machine. It always fascinated me. As a younger kid, I was always confused as to why and how it purified everything.

I loved research sometimes. Helped me understand this crazy fucked up world sometimes. Even if it was how paint dried or what went into making ratatouille, I loved research sometimes. Key word: sometimes.

I was learning about how Osmotic pressure worked. Until I heard a loud thud from the other room. My head spun in that direction. There were a few seconds of total silence. Then I heard a scream. A very shrill scream. It was like those in mental asylums, except 10x more chilling, because this wasnt pre recorded. This was real.

I sprang up from the table and ran past the shelves to see if the librarian had heard.

I didnt find her. But then I heard louder thumping noises from the walls behind the library. Oh shit.

It was the common area. Was there a fight? Riot? Someone stole someone else's fries again?

I ran outside the library and shut the door quietly. I was now in the hallway. I looked left and right. But no one was there. The screaming started again and died down as soon as it came. I ran into the hallway leading to the common room.

The door was shut.

But then the thumping noises started again.  **This was the place.**

The wailing started again and I immediately went to the door and tried the door. Locked. Oooh, whoever did this was gonna get into some serious shit. We werent allowed to shut or lock the door: It was open to everyone. The reason it had a lock was because in case of a lockdown anyone in the common room could be safe.

Wait was that why no one was in the hallway? What the- the screaming broke through my thoughts.

 

I knew one more place to get into the common room. The lockers. They had an extra door. I darted to the lockers and threw open the back door. I ran into the common room and in the room were 4 people: Sana, Yoongi, Doryeong and Jennie. What the fuck?

Yoongi was on the floor, crying his lungs out. His normally peachy looking face was turned into a blotchy tomato, or something.

I remembered what he'd done for me earlier and rushed over to him. Doryeong and Sana were having a heated argument in the background and somehow didnt notice there was clearly a 5th person in the room now. 

Then Jennie suddenly Taekwondo-ed me to the ground. She began to get a broom and proceeded to whack me with all the power of the mighty Buddah. She started screeching, not like the screaming earlier, but with such viciousness that I was thrown out the room in a matter of seconds.

She slammed the door with enough force to feel my hair fly back. I was weak from not eating but I got up anyways and started banging on the door. I could hear the voices in the room die down a bit then just. Stop. Like no one was there in the first place. What the fucking fuck?

I stumbled out the lockers and found the bus mother. Welp. The bus was here.

I grabbed my Macbook and bag and descended the stairs. I looked at common room door. It was open again. They all had left, like no one was there.

I did manage to see Doryeong, Yoongi and Jennie. Sana had disappeared to god knows where. But I knew that Doryeong, Jennie and Yoongi rode the same bus, since they lived on the same route.

I glanced uneasily at them getting into their buses. I wasnt able to see their expressions. But it still intrigued me.

Why Yoongi?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for leaving kudos! Hopefully the story got a bit more interesting! Feedback is still appreciated! :)


	8. 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hoseok gets into more than he'd asked for.  
> Also a few sad things happen, but as long as his grades are okay, he is okay...right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, readers! I have an announcement to make!  
> As soon as I hit chapter 10, I will do some minor revisions for this story to improve it. These won't change the plot, I mean grammer, punctuation and details I'd like to add!  
> Yes, I'm sorry for not being able to get this story as perfect as I'd like it to be in the first place, but I wouldn't be able to get it out quicker... so bear with me.  
> Estimated time: 3~4 days, maybe less, who knows?? :D

I stumbled out of the bus and  crumpled on the pavement.  I groaned and panted in exhaustion. I had once again pulled an all nighter for the science paper. I had also skipped dinner, not like my parents would care... I was having trouble getting up, before being helped by someone, guess who it was.

Min Yoongi.

"Okay, Jung Fucking Hoseok. You'd better explain why you feel like a pancake nowadays or else I'll..." He stopped mid sentence and let go of my arm, he bit his lip and swallowed. He shakily stammered out from his lips,

"Good M-Morning, Woo Doryeong... How's Sana? And Jennie." He forced a smile.

"Doing great... who the fuck is **this**?" I heard a deep voice from behind me. I turned around, and there was Woo Doryeong, and Jennie. Jennie looked like a mentally unstable convict freed from the wraths of hell at Yoongi and I. Sana was holding Jennie's hand, as if to calm her down. Her expression was nondescript. Doryeong looked pissed. Very pissed. Doing great? My ass, what the fuck?

Yoongi cleared his throat. "He's my classmate. Jung Hoseok... He fell so I decided to help him..y-y know?"

No one answered Yoongi. Jennie and Sana left, immediately. But Doryeong grabbed Yoongi, held his waist, and brought him really damn close. Yoongi was chest level to Doryeong, but Doryeong bent down. and was whispering something into Yoongi's ear. I watched Yoongi's reaction. I saw the color drain out of his face. Doryeong noticed me and let go of Yoongi really fucking fast.

"NICE MEETING YOU HOSEOK! WE GOTTA GO!" Doryeong sped his words up. He lugged Yoongi into the school gates, pressing his and Yoongi's ID cards into the scanner. Then they bolted into the building.

I felt a chill down my spine.  **I had forgotten my ID card.**

 I couldn't call my parents either. I was already in enough trouble for not getting my grades nice enough. Any more and it would be time for the belt again.

Fortunately, being the loner(nearly) came with its perks: it gave you time to explore. I knew a way from the side of the school to somewhere inside. I don't know where it led, though. But it was like a fire exit. But it wouldnt  activate once triggered.. cool.

I snuck to the side of the school, being very cautious to avoid security by hiding behind cars and benches(a/n: I made Hoseok extra like he is in real life) and opened the door silently. I was on a staircase landing... except I didn't know what floor it was. I just wanted to get to the 2nd floor. That was where my class was. But I didnt know if I was in the basement or something. So I wandered the floor for a good while, and concluded it was Basement 3.

I climbed up several flights of stairs. I noticed that I would hit the 2nd floor sooner. But as soon as i looked through a translucent door, which was slightly above the landing, I realized this was the back door of the TEACHERS LOUNGE.

OH SHIT.

I couldnt really tell if there was anyone in there. So I waited for a bit and opened the door a crack. No one. Thank the Lord. I raced out of there, but I spilled Mr. Kent's coffee on my shirt. Crap. 

I raced to the bathroom to clean it all up and guess who I found there.

Min Fucking Yoongi. He seemed to be investigating something on his neck in the mirror.

"Hoseok?"

"Yoongi?"

"Okay, why are you everywhere where I go?" I asked. 

"Why do you have coffee on your shirt?" He answered.

I was so upset about literally everything this morning, I spilled out my story. Yoongi's eyes brightened a bit hearing me. He leered silently. I didn't notice it at first, but I looked slightly lower than his jawline and found a bruise, or something of the sort. My eyes widened at the realization: Yoongi had a girlfriend!!! Oooh. Blackmail Material right there.

"All right, but can you please show me the- Hoseok?" He looked at me questioningly.

"Is that a hickey?" I smirked.

''What hickey? Where!" He panicked. 

I traced the outline of his neck and down to his clavicle. I decided to be a bit or a tease and kept tracing a certain spot of his neck. I looked at his expression; he was so wrecked. Not to mention hot. Really hot. He sucked in air, I smirked. I whispered. "So... who is she?" 

"NONE of YOUR business, anyways."' He replied snarkily.

"I think I'd show you this passageway. If you tell me  **who she is**." I grinned.

He groaned, but he said. "Sure, anything for you my love." He said dramaticall but obviously sarcastically.

He walked out of the bathroom, I followed behind. We both walked down the hallway together. I looked at him, and smirked. Min Yoongi was a dickhead. But he was really damn handsome, of course Jin would be #1 for me always, but Yoongi was pretty breathtaking...

I finally asked him the question I wanted to know the answer to for soo long

"Why are you being so nice to me for now? Do you like me or something?" I giggled.

He laughed, and I was shook. Holy fucking shit, that smile. It was goddamn beautiful. I wanted more of it. I looked at his face intently, he wasn't smiling anymore. But he had a tiny smirk.

"I'm sorry for making you cry that day." He looked at me seriously. He quickly grabbed my hand. He whispered quietly into my hair. "I'll never forgive myself for that."

"But.... you are one smoking hot dude."

I felt myself go red.

"Huh,  cute too." 

I turned into a tomato.

"We should talk sometime... hmmm~~~" He blew a flying kiss at me.

We stopped in front of our class. Shit. We were 20 Minutes LATE. Ohhh Lordy, we're dead. I opened the door. We looked inside. We ended up like V and Jungkook on the Anime Day. Except wayyy later than they were.

The teacher was pissed, needless to say. But we were standing in front of the class, and she just shouted at some from the back of the class. I felt everyone's gaze. I looked at V, who was whispering something to Jungkook.

"HOSEOK! CAFETERIA DUTY!" I just remained expressionless.

"AND YOONGI, YOUR PUNISHMENT IS LOCKER DUTY FOR 2 WEEKS!" The teached screamed. Yoongi and I glanced at each other and he gulped a bit.

"SIT!" 

I walked to my desk and tried to pay attention.

Yoongi's flirting made me get distracted from reality, but once again I felt like I was gonna faint. I just thought of his smile. His beautiful, bright smile. I gained strength from it.

Min Yoongi would make a good friend.

《A/n: Or maybe more....? ;)》

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, readers! I have an announcement to make!  
> As soon as I hit chapter 10, I will do some minor revisions for this story to improve it. These won't change the plot, I mean grammer, punctuation and details I'd like to add!  
> Yes, I'm sorry for not being able to get this story as perfect as I'd like it to be in the first place, but I wouldn't be able to get it out quicker... so bear with me.  
> Estimated time: 3~4 days, maybe less, who knows?? :D


	9. 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> V and Hoseok are pretty fucking confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanna say, thank you for liking this story. Seriously, I type this very late at night. I usually am exhausted by the time I wake up, but seeing the kudos' make me feel better! Thank Y'all!

I decided to keep an eye on V that day. After all, I wanted to see what made him like Jungkook so much... I had to be discreet about it, or else he'd notice all my staring. I also tried to pay attention to my work, but that was really damn hard, especially with the all-nighters for the Science paper. As well as meal skipping.

But as I observed for longer, I learned that not only was V swooning. He made it so obvious as well. The way he looked, the way he behaved.

JK(Jungkooks nickname) had hickeys all over him. I thought, what the hell? V gave JK hickies! Well, he definitely loves to give hickeys in the same place Yoongi's girlfriend did. It was the same areas where Yoongi's usually porcelain skin was bruised and, dang wouldnt it be good to do it to Jin?

I realized that I wasnt paying attention to Jin, who I almost always did. But I was uninterested in Jin at the moment.(Well that's a first)

V loved Jungkook! That was pretty big news to me. I couldnt really imagine those two together. But it kinda confused me as well, why Jungkook?

The day passed uneventfully, with the occasional grin from Yoongi. The random Jin staring,(he caught me at one point and looked disgusted) and Jennie and Mina just killing me with their stares of death.

 Ms. Jean called Yoongi and I to the back, she said, "You two go downstairs and serve your respected punishments, which will last for 45 minutes. You may have free time afterwards, anyways, any other forms of rudeness or retaliation will not be tolerated. Thank you both and have a nice day."

I groaned. I slammed my head onto the wall when Yoongi and I got out of class.

Yoongi glanced at me and said, "Its not like I have it any better."

I looked at him and said, "Well its cuz your parents haven't forced you to work so hard to finish ONE FUCKING PAPER." 

He gave me a blank stare and said, "K then, I'll go."

He walked down the hallway, not looking back, just straight ahead. He began to descend the stairs. Well what the fuck WAS going on with the world today, Yoongi goes from flirty to boring in 6 hours. V ditched me and NOW HAS A BOYFRIEND. AND JIN STILL HATES ME. Whoo.

So I dragged myself to the cafeteria, which was stinking of uneaten and rotten food because of the class before I came.

I found a checklist on the wall:

'For Jung Hoseok: ALL the following activities must be completed before your bus arrives. The items required are in the storage cupboard at the back of the room. Complete the items on the To-Do list and adhere to some rules. Any violation will not be tolerated. Have a nice day.'

A NICE DAY, GEEZ THATS EASY TO COME BY!

I rolled my eyes and continued to read.

 

TO DO LIST:

1\. Mop the floors clean.

2\. Clean all of the benches.

3\. Rearrange the glasses

4\. Search the benches for scratches

5\. Restock the tissues.

.

RULES:

1\. Return the materials to where you got them

2. YOU may leave after waiting for 5-10 minutes, ring the buzzer on the wall. Someone(sr.student/teacher) will arrive. Do not leave the room

3\. Any disregard of these rules will be me with severe punishment.

 

Well this didnt look TOO bad.  I got the materials from the closet and got ready to get my hands dirty.

I sprayed some phenyl on the floor, grabbed the mop, and started to sweep. I made sure to do it quickly, but nicely, the sooner the better. I thought about Yoongi, V, Jungkook, and the Reverse Osmosis paper. As I crossed all the aisles. Nice. We're good to go for Step 1.

 

Slowly but surely, I finished all the tasks and I nearly collapsed after Step 4. I guess due to lack of food and rest, but I eventually got them all done. I rang the buzzer on the side of the wall and stood next to it for a while. Around 7 minutes of just silent standing, I heard the door open, I saw Ms. Rey come in.

"Nice work" She grunted and I smiled. YAASS! I was done for the day.

 

I walked upstairs to the library so I could focus on completing the RO paper. I heard someone enter the locker room later, but I figured Yoongi must have finished on his own time. I didnt think much about it. I typed away rapidly at my keyboard. Nothing was gonna break my concentration. I then realized that I'd never asked who Yoongi's girlfriend was. WELL CRAP.

Finally the bus mother arrived and I caught a glance at Yoongi, his face was wet with sweat and he was panting even more then I'd seen him,  It looked like he'd run a marathon. But I just gave him a sweet smile, after all those lockers probably REEKED of sweat.

He noticed me smiling at him and he gave me that same cute smile from this morning.

Well, shit.

We both walked away from the lockers and library. I tried to start a conversation with him and he didnt respind much, he kept looking behindm as if there would be someone watching us or some shit.

He whispered, "You think that you could show me the way, you took this morning?"

"If you tell me about her."

He thought about it and said, "Sure, why not?"

"Cool, meet me in the school lot in a couple of days, cuz it leads to the Teachers Lounge." I said.

He nodded. He got in his bus, waved and didnt look back. I got in mine and began to work on the RO paper, like I now did religiously on the bus.

It would be worth it.

I knew it would

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ALSO KNOW THAT ITS 12 AM AT NIGHT. AND THAT I TYPED THIS STORY FOR 2 HOURS ON END. AHHHHH!  
> Anyways editing will begin after the next chapter :)


	10. 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Several days of cleaning leads to a major surprise. Especially when Yoongi and Hoseok are switched with their jobs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Editing will begin after this is posted!

The days seemed to go slower and slower after that. My routine was tiring and mindless. I was really damn exhausted. My body's metabolism was close to nothing. I actually fainted on the bus once, my parents were also getting impatient with the results of the RO paper, which was due next week. There was an added layer of stress because well, Ms. Lana was interested into boosting up our oral grades. So not only did we have to submit this paper, we had to PRESENT IT TOO.

I'd be up on caffiene mist of the time at night, typing away till my hands hurt. Researching till my eyes began seeing non existent static, and trying not to pass out because my head was spinning. Free time was barely existent. Like anything else. I felt so upset.

The day would pass by slow too. The teachers' endless droning, the countless classworks that made me wanna puke. V barely even talking to me anymore, Jennie randomly sneering in the hallway, Jin scowling. The blank stares the majority of the class gave me. All the neglection just made me sadder than I should have been.

I was also a lot lonelier.

I sat by myself at lunch now as I watched V and Jungkook talk.

People having dissing contests. Them screaming loudly every time Yoongi came back with such a clever comeback that everyone would immediately drop to their knees and start worshipping him like a prophet. He'd smirk like he was the King of Confidence.  He'd look at me, and I'd turn red. He smirked a little more.

That smile was so beautiful. 

The way it just made me giddy gave me enough strength to endure just one more day. I began to blush even harder around him, I began to talk to him, and the best part was, he'd reciprocate. Unlike V or Jin, he genuinely seemed to care. I have a few memories of this. But I do one time in the library, I just started to cry and I just wanted to kill myself because of all the pressure. But then his signature smile echoed through my mind, and that made me feel, just a little bit better.

I was sitting at lunch today, once again Yoongi was hanging out with the cool kids again. Then suddenly Jennie started beating him up. Like really badly, like how she did at the common room nearly a week back. Yoongi was on the floor, screaming, but no one seemed to care. I rushed up. My mind told me

_You shouldnt be doing this!_

I ran up to Jennie though and tried to block/ use myself as a human sheild against her blows. But I was so weak from the meal skipping I almost collapsed and thats when Yoongi finally fought back. I didnt see the rest of it, but I just wanted to save Yoongi.

I got up shakily and exited the cafeteria, not caring to look behind.

Later, before it was time for the chores we had to do, I bought a cool iced tea(not for me, for Yoongi) and silently walked back. I'd been avoiding him because I felt guilty for him saving me from Jennie. I found him standing out, covered in bruises. I got his attention and brought the bottle to him.

"Thanks." He whispered silently. He didnt take it though.

"Take it...  **honey.** " I grinned, putting an emphasis on 'honey'. I still leered at him.

"The names Min Yoongi, **sweetie.** " It was supposed to be his turn to blush, but he made me go red too. He silently took the bottle and drank part of it. We both headed inside.

What do you know, I made Price Savage Man blush. That's impressive.

The class finally ended and the bell rang. I was about to head down... UNTIL Ms. Jean called both of us to the front. 

"All right, you two I have an announcement. You guys need to switch jobs because. Well you know Chaeyong Son? She got in trouble too, so she's taking Hoseok's Job. Hoseok you now work in the lockers. Yoongi. Common room. On the Double, chop-chop! No dilly-dallying!" She said.

So I headed to the lockers this time. I opened the door and BOY DID THAT NOT SMELL GOOD OOF. IT HURT TO BE HERE. No wonder Yoongi came out sweating and panting for air.

I looked for the to-do list and completed all the activities which wasnt THAT bad either. It was just cleaning showers and refilling air freshners, mostly. But after all that, I still felt pooped. Dead. Lifeless. Ughhh.

I threw myself down on a bench. Then looked for the buzzer for the teacher or someone to get me outta here. I looked around. Strange. Where was anything? I wasnt allowed to leave the room, so I just kept walking in circles.

Then the door opened.

Oh a teacher must have come!

That was great news, because I was gonna faint if I didnt force myself to eat that uneaten bag of dumplings I had had in my lunchbox.

 

"Sir? Miss?" I called out loudly, alerting the teacher of my presence.

" **Yoongi, you fucking bitch. I am what you call 'Master'... how dare you direspect me? Where are you??** "

What the Fuck? Teachers werent supposed to swear and the voice sounded so familiar. What?

"Uhh, its not Yoongi, Jung Hoseok here??" I said a bit nervously.

I heard a shuffling noise nearby. I turned around and saw well a very real and intimidating, WOO DORYEONG?!

I realized, "Ohhh senior students are allowed! Its okay?"

All thoughts of positivity stopped as soon as I saw his face. He looked so ugly, damn angry too. He had a belt in one hand and he looked like a psychopath. 

"Where. Is. Yoongi?" He growled, stepping closer to me. Arms in the position of trying to hit me.

"I'm taking over for him" I replied.

In a flash, my neck was tied with the belt, the buckle placed directly above my Adams Apple. Shit. What's he doing? 

"Well since I can't have fun with him. How about... **YOU?!** "

I struggled, or tried to. Doryeong started to unbutton my shirt and began to choke me. He stopped and pressed a hickey every 2 seconds anywhere he could find. I started to scream, but then he tightened the belt. Woo Doryeong behaving like THIS?! What the fuck?

He suddenly started to thrash me to the ground. I let out a cry of pain. He punced on top of me, slapping me senseless.. I was trying not to pass out.

"STOP?!" I shrieked. "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? PLEASE!" He slammed my head onto a locker. I screamed and got choked by the belt. He pinned my hands above my head and began kissing me. Everywhere. I was gonna die. My head was pounding, I was choking, I couldnt breathe. My life flashed before my eyes and I could barely see. My legs were wobbly, knees going weak.

I thought it was the end.

Until I heard the back door open.

It was Yoongi.

He gasoed and tackled Woo. Surprisingly,  Jeon Jungkook was with him. Jungkook actually had a lot of muscle. He was ablle to keep Doryeong distracted for a bit.

Yoongi ran straight to me and gently brought my head to his chest. I looked at him and he whispered crying, "That shit tried to rape you hmm? Hoseokie~~ I'm so fucking sorry" he whispered. Parting my bangs slightly

His voice was so soothing I started to cry. 

We could hear the struggles in the other room. But we heard a very loud shriek. Which I recognized to be Jungkook's. 

"TAEHYUNG?!" I heard a voice yell.

Yoongi got up and immediately ran to the common room, where Jungkook and Doryeong were. I lay on the floor again. I heard more shouting from the common room. Then rushing into the room came V! V OF ALL PEOPLE.

"Hoseok?" He whispered, he was bleeding from his mouth.

"Veee?" I whispered, gasping, and sobbing at the same time.

"Yeah. Relax. Hoseok. Its all right, its gonna be okay. Just let me carry you, hmm?" He whispered quietly. 

He rebuttoned my shirt and took me down to the nurses office. Or at least tried to. On the way don the stairs to the nurses floor, apparently, I fainted. And V? V had such bad injuries that he collapsed on the landing, a few feet away from me...

As for what was happening with Yoongi and Jungkook?

I wouldnt know.

Yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically a summary in case you didnt understand:  
> 1\. Yoongi and Hoseok switch places for after school work  
> 2\. Hoseok waits for teacher to dismiss him from locker work.  
> 3\. Doryeong arrives,  
> 4\. Doryeong tries to forcefully make out with Hoseok.  
> 5\. Yoongi and Jungkoom save him.  
> 6\. V tries to save Jungkook(who is fighting Doryeong in common room) but is badly injured.  
> 7\. Yoongi runs to common room.  
> 8\. V escapes common room.  
> 9\. V and Hoseok try to get to Nurses Room  
> 10\. They both have severe injuries, so they both faint on the way.  
> 11\. Cliffhanger for YoonKook/SugaKookie whatever you wanna call them

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is appreciated ;)


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